This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own.

Community Corner

College Kids Return: Now What?

Family Forum: Having them home for summer is cause for excitement as well as adjustments.

Just as we usher one set of students through high school graduation and prepare them for life after high school, we welcome another contingent home from college for the summer, or possibly longer, if the student has just graduated  and is not yet ready to move out.

While parents are excited to have their children back home and to reconnect, many are surprised to find that it is not always easy to settle back into life as one household. Both parents and their college students may experience a  period of adjustment. For the college students who have been on their own all year, the idea of being accountable for their time or living habits may seem foreign. 

And for parents who may have fallen into new routines during the year or grown accustomed to less laundry or seeing their child’s room clean and organized, the change can be disconcerting. The students see themselves as adults, but often their parents continue to view them as youngsters, inevitably leading to conflict.  

Find out what's happening in Plainviewwith free, real-time updates from Patch.

Rather than fuel the tension, both parent and college student can enjoy living together if they are mindful of the following:

  • It may no longer make sense to impose some restrictions, like curfews, on kids who have been living on their own and it may be fair instead to have the kids  text or call to apprise parents of  their whereabouts and anticipated arrival back home, as a courtesy that even adult housemates would afford one another.
  • Children who are living in the parents’ homes need to abide by the rules of the household; for example even if they have engaged in underaged drinking while away at school, that does not make it acceptable in the house and parents remain legally responsible for such conduct.
  • Parents need to recognize that their college age children may have developed behaviors while away at school (such as coffee drinking or becoming a vegetarian) and while parents can voice their views, assuming the behaviors are not harmful,  parents should accept the choices made. 
  • It’s natural for kids to be busy connecting with their home friends and running off to visit friends from school but they should still try to make time for younger siblings, parents and other family members who have spent the year waiting for their return; it is acceptable for parents to expect the college students to help out with some driving for the family or other household errands.

Sometimes, returning college students may seem unrecognizable. Because it is fashionable to do so, they may complain that there is nothing to do in Plainview and that they hate being home, even as they are off to the gym, meeting at the town bagel store, congregating at TOBAY Beach or attending concerts at Jones Beach.

Find out what's happening in Plainviewwith free, real-time updates from Patch.

Parents need not fear. Their kids may be dressed in suits for summer internships or decked out at night to go to a club, but at some point in the summer they will also be curled up on the couch watching a silly TV show from yesteryear, or rolling on the floor with the family dog, or looking imploringly at their parents to accompany them on a dreaded doctor’s visit.

That's when the realization will set in: behind the bravado is still the little girl or guy who left for college just a few months before. 

We’ve removed the ability to reply as we work to make improvements. Learn more here

The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch?