Parenting Children and Young Adults with Special Needs: Personal Boundaries and Sexuality Issues

All children need to learn how to establish personal boundaries. All children need to learn how to appropriately deal with sexual feelings. This is challenging to do for parents of any children, but when the children have disabilities, it can seem almost impossible.   A few months ago, I attended an excellent parenting
workshop on sexuality education for children with disabilities.  The workshop was given by Parent 2 Parent of Long Island.  They give this and other excellent workshops periodically.  They can be reached at 631-434-6196. 

No matter how old your children may be, as soon as you are able, you must teach them how to respect personal boundaries.  They need to know what is private and what is public.  They need to know how close they get to another person without getting into trouble  They need to know how to protect themselves from predators and they also need to know how to avoid being perceived as a predator.  Fortunately, there is help available.  Certainly, you should speak with your child’s pediatrician and other appropriate health care providers for advice.  You should speak with your child’s teachers, school psychologists and therapists.  Personal boundaries education should be on your child’s IEP.

LOCAL RESOURCES: 

There will be a symposium in Manhattan on October 25th on the subject for
professionals who deal with disabilities: 
http://www.ujafedny.org/event/view/disabilities-symposium.  You might want to pass this along to the professionals who work with your teenager or young adult with a disability.

ACDS:  http://acds.org

Cohen Children's Center:   http://www.northshorelij.com/ccmcny/ccmcny-our-services

SCO Family of Services:  http://sco.org/our-core-services/developmental-disability-services/

The Cody Center for Autism and Developmental Disabilities offers sexuality education groups:   http://stonybrookneurosciences.org/The-Cody-Center.html

United Cerebral Palsy:  http://www.ucpn.org/index.php/site/services/

Variety Child Learning Center:    http://www.vclc.org/ 

Wrightslaw Yellow Pages:  http://www.yellowpagesforkids.com/help/ny.htm

ONLINE RESOURCES:

Sexuality Education in General:

Teaching any children about sexuality: http://special-needs.adoption.com/children/teaching-children-and-youth-about-sexuality.html   and   http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/parents-sex-ed-center-home

Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United
States Bibliography:  http://www.siecus.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=page.viewPage&PageID=580&varuniqueuserid=29040321298
and Position Statement:
http://www.siecus.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=Page.viewPage&pageId=494&parentID=472

General Resources on Sexuality Education for
Children With Disabilities:

Human Sexuality Education for Students with Special Needs   http://www.ejhs.org/volume10/MarshMedia%20White%20Paper.pdf

National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities    http://nichcy.org/schools-administrators/sexed  

Sexuality Education Resource List: http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/disabsex.htm 

Teaching Your Student Social Skills:  

LD Online: http://www.ldonline.org/article/21025/

Protecting Children with Disabilities from Sexual Abuse and Assault: 

A Parent’s Guide:   https://dps.mn.gov/divisions/ojp/training-and-communication/Documents/Protecting%20Children%20with%20Disabilities%20from%20Sexual%20Assault.%20A%20Parents%20Guide.pdf

Head Start:   http://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/hslc/tta-system/teaching/Disabilities/Staff...

Sexual Abuse Victims with Disability:  http://www.child-abuse-effects.com/sexual-abuse-victims-with-disability.html

Autism:

Autism.com     http://www.autism.com/index.php/understanding_social_sexual

LoveToKnow Autism   http://autism.lovetoknow.com/autism-sexuality
and   http://autism.lovetoknow.com/Sexual_Behavior_and_Asperger_Syndrome   and   http://autism.lovetoknow.com/Special_Issues_for_Autistic_Teens

Monarch Center for Autism: 
http://www.monarchcenterforautism.org/adulthood/sexuality

Blind, Deaf, Deaf-Blind:

Deaf-Blindness    
http://www.nationaldb.org/ISSelectedTopics.php?topicID=897&topicCatID=20

Developmental Disabilities and Down syndrome:

American Academy of Pediatrics position paper on sterilization of minors with developmental disabilities    
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/104/2/337.full

American Academy of Pediatrics related to developmental disabilities    http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/118/1/398.full

American Association of Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities:  http://www.aamr.org/content_198.cfm  and http://www.aamr.org/content_154.cfm

Down syndrome     http://www.ndss.org/Resources/Adolescence-Adulthood/Sexuality-Down-Syndrome/

Florida Developmental Disabilities Council    http://www.albany.edu/aging/IDD/documents/parentworkbook.pdf

I found this book especially helpful:   Teaching Children with Down Syndrome about Their Bodies, Boundaries, and Sexuality (Topics in Down Syndrome), by Terri Couwenhoven.

Well thought out and appropriate comments and questions are welcome.