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Ways to End a Bad Date: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

When on a bad date, how do you say goodbye? Turns out saying goodbye is easier said than done.

Recently a friend was telling me about a horrible date she had been on.  She excused herself to go to the ladies’ room however she took off faster than the wind and texted the guy when she was safe in her car that she had left. 

It seems that I have been hearing more about bad dates. I am assuming that bad dates usually outnumber good ones and are the ones we remember most.

I had a lunch date with a guy I had met while I was working at Barnard College.  He was a Columbia University student. The date was okay, no major sparks but decent enough conversation.  When the bill came I offered to split the check figuring he was a student and I was working. He agreed and I put down my $5 for my lunch. He then paid for his lunch with a $100 bill.

That was the date’s huge deal breaker. I figured if the guy had a $100 to spend he could have spent it on my $5 lunch. I let all his calls go to the answering machine until he got the hint I wasn’t interested.

Another bad date I had was a fix-up with a friend’s brother.  He showed up an hour late.  His hair looked like Sideshow Bob and he entered my apartment asking where my bathroom was because he had to pee.  While he was in the bathroom my roommate ran into her room and shoved her face in her pillow to smother her hysterical laughter.  I figured how much worse can this date get?  Well it got worse. Sideshow spent the rest of the night saying, “You go girl!” after I made a comment or ordered a drink or took a bite out of my food.  He truly lived up to his sideshow image by actually becoming a sideshow at the restaurant we were at.  I faked a bad stomach and ended that date.

After a bad date, is there a good way to end it? Since my bad dates were before caller id, emails, Facebook, Twitter and universal cell phone use, ignoring their calls by letting all calls go to my answering machine was my best bet.  Today with all the technological improvements that make it virtually impossible to hide from an unwelcome suitor, how does one say goodbye? I was listening to the Train song, "50 Ways to Say Goodbye”, it went through 50 different ways to break up with someone but are there really 50 ways to say goodbye?

I told my friend who left the guy in the restaurant that she should have whipped out one of my website business cards and told her date that it wasn’t going to work out between them but that he should join her friend’s dating site.   I figured she could kindly turn down the guy while doing a little marketing for a friend. 

Aside from the dine, dash and text approach or my “kiss off” cards, what are other ways people have said “goodbye”.  Are standard date-enders such as a headache, the early business meeting, you have a friend staying with you, you have had long day at work, or “I am sort of in a relationship right now” still used?  Is honesty the best policy in these situations?  Is it best to say, “Thanks for the date, but I don’t think it is going to work out? Probably, but it is not always easy to say that to someone’s face.  Maybe you can just text it…..

If you have any funny or bad date experiences to share, post a comment.  If you have a dating experience you would like to share for a future blog topic, feel free to email me at friend2friendnetwork@gmail.com.

Elise Pearlman August 28, 2012 at 03:31 am
When I was in college, one of my sorority sisters went out on a date and when the guy dropped her off at her house, he was in such a hurry to get away that he drove over her foot. Yes, it was broken and an unforgettable souvenir of a date gone bad. I remember her cast.
Meredith Radisch August 28, 2012 at 01:24 pm
That is one bad date but maybe a good lawsuit! Thanks for the story. :)
FYI August 28, 2012 at 03:06 pm
If the date is headed south, I would comment that they remind me of my ex-spouse. That should end it right there! Seriously though, extend your hand outward, with a thank you for the opportunity to meet in person, wishing them well with their search should be clear and polite. If they don't get the message from that and ask if they can see you again, you can start running...
Derp August 29, 2012 at 02:20 pm
I do not believe your lunch in Manhattan was only $5.
Meredith Radisch August 29, 2012 at 03:25 pm
My lunch was only $5.00 because it was eaten nearly 20 years ago. Also I ate light trying to appear as if I didn't eat much which is so false because I love food. lol.
Judy Mottl (Editor) August 29, 2012 at 06:44 pm
Back in the day we didn't have cells and friends to text or call to get us out of dates and either had to do the bathroom 'cut and run' or say goodbye graciously. I strived for the latter because with my luck I knew I'd end up seeing the guy somewhere the next day and didn't want to deal with the anger he might show about it.
Meredith Radisch August 31, 2012 at 12:52 am
That actually happened to me except I ran into the guy as an audience member at a taping of the Rolanda Watts talk show and we ended up being a topic of conversation on the show. My dating nightmare was shown on national television. You can't get more embarrassing than that.
Patrick September 4, 2012 at 05:36 pm
Meredith, you assume that just because the only bill he had was the $100, that it was all available to pay for lunch. He may have been heading to the phone company to pay his $94.99 phone bill, right after the lunch date.
Anyway, why would anyone sneak away to the bathroom, or run for that matter. What happened to honesty? "I really enjoyed lunch, but I didn't feel a spark. Thank you so much, it was a pleasure to have met you."
Meredith Radisch September 4, 2012 at 07:46 pm
Good point but his Rolex watch and bragging discussion about his family vacation homes and recent trips to Europe gave another impression.
Anna September 9, 2012 at 12:07 am
I had a date with a by phone business associate that was so boring but not wanting the business end of it to go badly I acted as if all was well....Well, I got a text telling me he was so busy and needed to focus on the things ahead of him...I got dumped by someone that was boring to begin with. talk about ego in the toilet time!
Meredith Radisch September 10, 2012 at 01:14 am
I know that feeling. Getting dumped by someone you wanted to dump first definitely sucks. Love the story!! Thanks for sharing. :)
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