The concept of "secret identities" has always intrigued me. The older I get, the more I realize that this is not such a fantastic concept; it seems to be a natural part of the way human brains work. We all have secret identities, or ideal images of who we "think" we are.
Meanwhile, a present around the holidays is often the ultimate passive aggressive act, and can accidentally reveal someone's "secret identitity." A gift can reveal what the giver thinks of you, and how you receive a gift can reveal what you think about yourself. The malls were filled to capacity on the day after Christmas with people who received gifts that did not satisfy their view of themselves. Sweaters, sneakers, scarves, perfume, all manner of potpourri, objects designed to appeal to someone you love, were returned by the truckloads.
Retailers predict nearly 40 percent of items purchased as gifts will be returned. Even gift cards are now something you can go online to "sell." Imagine that, a blank check is even cause for a let down if the check is written out to a retailer that doesn't fit with your "identity." And if something is too big or too small, it says something about the giver's and the receiver's perceptions.
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Often a gift "implies" something by the giver. ("You look wonderful in puce, dear! You know, because of your complexion!") The receiver of a gift can also infer meaning in a gift. ("You think I am XXL?") Let me state clearly that I implied nothing in any of my gifts or cards this year, other than "I love you." If you inferred anything else, then that's your "secret identity."
