Home Alone

So after weeks, or months, or most likely years of hard work, thought and planning, the college bound student is off at school and the parent has returned home. The first concern will likely be how the child is faring at school but if things seem good on that front, the focus will turn to life back at home.

Even if there are other children living in the house, it doesn’t change the fact that this one is away.  And even if this one was barely around over the last year because of academic, social or work commitments, there was still a daily presence, be it a family dinner or errand run together, which can leave an enormous void now.

Colleges often run a session for parents during orientation about “letting go” and there are a myriad of books written on the topic but in truth,  like every stage of parenting, it does not necessarily fit neatly into a rule book.

There are, however, some basic tips parents may wish to consider:

Give it Time

Just as living away at college requires a period of adjustment for incoming students, so does life at home without them.  After eighteen years of togetherness, it would be strange not to feel off kilter, but in time the uneasiness will dissipate. Parents may not realize the extent to which they are also drained because of the physical and emotional energy expended during the move-in at school and should catch up on some rest in order to “recharge their batteries.”

Join the Parents’ Association

Many colleges have a parents' association for those who wish to be connected to the school in ways beyond their interaction with their own student.  These associations often  plan local functions for prospective students,  coordinate sending of  packages to students at finals time, holidays and other special dates and provide a sense of community to parents who have a common interest. 

Resume Routine Activities…and Go Beyond

It is, off course, time to return to normal work routines and to chores which might have gone unattended in the chaotic period leading up to the child’s departure for school.  In addition, it may be possible  for parents to now explore some new interests or pamper themselves just a bit.  The time freed up from looking at schools, assisting in the college application process or caring for the child on a daily basis can be devoted, for example, to joining a book club or a gym or seeing a new exhibit at the museum. 

Plan for The Next Family Occasion

Whether it is family weekend at the university, a football game at the school or Thanksgiving break, parents will see their son or daughter sooner than they realize. Making plans for that occasion, even if it is merely purchasing tickets for the game, will make the occasion into a reality.