Moms Talk: The Dilemma of the Working Mother

Tug of War is best known as a field day activity but it is also the anthem of the working mother when a school event open to parents is held during business hours.  She recognizes her pressing obligations at work but does not want to miss out on her child’s precious moments. 

Fortunately, within the, many events such as music concerts, “Back to School” sessions and school picnics are held during the evening to accommodate the schedules of working parents.  In addition, parent- teacher conferences and the high school now offer evening as well as daytime options. 

But there are still  a number of events such as in class holiday celebrations, field trips, track meets and other sport competitions which are only scheduled during the daytime.  And it is those instances which pose the greatest challenge for working mothers and working parents in general.

It may be possible to miss work for one or two events but it will not be possible to do so all the time, leading to tension either in the workplace or the home.  Faced with this dilemma, working moms need to be both calm and creative because there are viable, albeit imperfect solutions to be had:

• If the main concern is not wanting to disappoint the child, a parent can seek to have the other parent or even a surrogate parent in attendance at the event.  That surrogate can be a grandparent, other family member, sibling or even a babysitter so long as the child understands that the guest is there solely for him or her.
• If it is not possible to have a surrogate in attendance or if parent or child will still feel disappointed, the absentee parent can check ahead with either the teacher or parents of the child’s classmates  to ask if a video of the presentation can be made, which can be viewed later by the parent. Watching the video can be made into a special family event that evening, akin to a movie screening, and treats can be served, much to the delight of the child.
• Parents can always inquire whether there is an alternate time or date to attend- even if it’s just to view a practice or dress rehearsal; it may not have the fanfare associated with the actual event but will undoubtedly satisfy both parent and child alike.
• If a working mom is troubled about missing specific school events but otherwise has some scheduling flexibility, she can look for other opportunities to be a greater part of her child’s school experience such as by chaperoning a field trip or helping to run the class party.  
• Working moms should watch the calendar for Career Day, a school event which showcases various professions for middle school and high school students, but which is, ironically, held during regular business hours. Working parents who are able to participate, notwithstanding the conflict with their work day, will provide valuable information about their jobs to other children, make their own children proud  and perhaps, in the process, shed some light not only on the nature of their work but why it sometimes cannot be missed.